Zero to Pearl Jam in 50

Pearl Jam album coverOkay, so I am going to do a little experiment here and just write whatever comes to mind as I take my first spin thru Pearl Jam. I just picked it up at 7.10 pm and the first song is going to play and it is almost 8.25 pm. Seems like a simple way to make this an addendum to my Pearl Jam = Crap post. Let’s see if the monkey can type and listen to the music at the same time. This might be the fastest review brain dump of an album ever…

Life Wasted
Good guitar intro. Hmm…Eddie is singing in that Eddie way again… no f-in idea what he’s saying. Maybe I better bust out this freaky lyric book included in the disc packaging. Pictures look like (insert favorite zombie flick here) meets Photoshop. Once, Go, Last Exit and Brain of J. are all great intros to a disc. This one, not so much…

World Wide Suicide
Well, we already know this was the first single from the disc and I’m already on record as not really liking it much. That was prolly the twentieth or so time I’ve heard it and… nope, still don’t like it. Must be something about the way he sings the chorus because I keep saying Spin the Black Circle in my head. Is it the accompanying guitar or just the lyrics?

Okay, I am liking the start of this one. Hey, he’s not mumbling everything. Throwback! Yeah, this one is good. Yeah, first good song on the disc. Oop, it’s a shorty.

Severed Hand
Musical intro is cool. Oh yeah, like that transition. Yeah, after that I sort of faded out looking at the Sox game in the Yahoo applet. I think it was good though. I think…

Marker in the Sand
Okay, I am going to assume this one is a protest song based on the title. The review said this whole disc is a straight-up protest disc (not that I read the review, I just saw the excerpt), but so far I’m not hearing it. Then again, I can’t understand half the words coming from his mouth either. It usually takes some living with, or the creepy book, to get those down.

I’ll assume this isn’t a cover of the Coldplay tune… yeah, not channeling his inner Mr. Gwynnie Paltrow. Intro sounds vaguely familiar. Like the organ and guitar. Eddie’s being slightly melodic for once.

Okay, also already established that I like this song. In fact, it’s the best song on the disc so far. Maybe I was hoping more of this kind of thing, but so far, no joy. “Scared Alive?” I always thought he was saying “Scared of Life,” but I shouldn’t be surprised. I used to think he said really whack stuff when singing Jeremy.

Big Wave
Okay, I pulled out the book. I have no idea what he’s saying, so maybe if I follow along, I’ll get it? Yeah, we’ll see how this goes… Yeah, he was talking about a cuttle-fish or something at the start there. Hmm…is he really talking about surfing here or is it a metaphor for something that I don’t get. Yeah, it’s probably that. The ex-surfer dude wouldn’t sing about surfing and I’m not too smart and pick up on the meanings of songs unless it’s blatant. It’s a gift.

Okay, I can understand him in this one. I like what he’s saying here. Yeah, I’m actually really getting this one because I have been thinking stuff like this lately. I think this one just replaced “Unemployable” as best song so far. Yeah… it did. I really like it.

Wasted Reprise
Okay, it’s over before it starts. I guess that’s what most reprises do though. Nice music. The reprise is better than the song.

Army Reserve
Okay, the guitars in this kick much ass. They might even kick Mook’s head out of his ass. I promise not to start any more songs with “Okay.” I think that’s the first Mook name drop for my blog. I’ll try to not let it happen again. Scoobs will talk. I like this one too. That’s three good songs so far. Rock on Stone. Rock on Mike. Hurry up before you have to drop a deuce…

Come Back
Yeah, let’s see… he left somewhere in “Gone,” but now someone has left him in this song. Let’s see, was it his talent? Yeah, I think that’s it. I better read more of these lyrics to see if he’s still got it. I know he had it. At least I can hear the words in this one too. I know, he’s wondering where Mike got off to. He’s in the rest room Eddie! This song is nice though. I kid with the talent comment. This one is pretty good.

Inside Job
Like the intro, although Joe already said as much over IM before I started listening to this tonight. Well, he said the music overall was “just kinda mellow and cool” and I have to agree with that statement. He might even share the rest of his thoughts as a comment, but I won’t cross my fingers on that one. I can always post the mini-review he gave me before I listened. He was home earlier than I, but then again, so isn’t everyone. So… nice music. Good words too. Oooh… with a pretty little bonus at the end.

That’s all Eddie wrote. Done in just under 50 minutes. Not bad. Not great. First thought ranking has it in my list below Binaural, so fifth sixth best, but at least above the *crap.* It could move up one after some more spins, but I don’t know. Maybe it’ll tie it.

Next up, is 10,000 Days by Tool. Another band with a clever packaging fetish. This has to be their most interesting to date. Built in goggles and again with all the eyeballs. Maynard has a thing for peepers I guess.

I’ll update this again later after I’ve had a few more spins with it. Not that any of you will bother to read it…