Asshats in the Outfield

I am bummed out to have to write a sequel to this post, but the asshats have demanded it. Yes, I attended my second Sox game of the year tonight and it was against the hated Yankees. Schilling took the hill against Chien-Ming Wang. Do you see where this is going?

Okay, so yes, it is a Yankee game and folks are more liquored up and passionate than for a Seattle Mariners game, but come on! Okay, I can’t help it… that just set up for a joke about an activity being suggested at that Mariners game. I swear, it just happened!

Anyway, we know everyone hates the Yankees, right? How does the chant go? Yankees Stink… no, that’s not quite it… So, yes, most folks are rev’d up for some extra razzing. Sure, tell Bernie Williams he’s old and his guitar playing stinks because he can’t hear it anymore because he needs to turn up his hearing aide. That’s perfectly fine. I’m on board with that.

However, we have an opposing pitcher of Taiwanese descent, so surely we can tell our guys to hit those Egg Rolls he’s serving up, right? Oh, and let’s tell them to enjoy the Chow Mein too. Yeah, it’s all on the menu. I’ll admit that it is fairly tame compared to the stuff Ichiro may have heard. The thing is, it might have been worse because these two mullets may have tamed it down some since they were with their respective wife and fiance.

So, then I hear the guy razzing Bernie also start yelling to Wang that, and I may have this a little off but, “Did you (Wang) forget to tell them you are Jewish?” Well, someone has to explain that one to me cuz it’s over my head. All I get from it is you are using one ethnicity to bash another. I also came to find out via Joe that this same guy is a season ticket holder, so I am guessing this happens a lot with him? I’m pretty sure I have been to other games with that guy there and I don’t remember this kind of thing. I guess this stuff only comes out when Asian ballplayers are on the field. I really don’t get it.

A couple of other things; I hate rally-clappers and wave-starters. Wouldn’t you know the season ticket guy is one of those that loves to clap to a rhythm as if to start a rally or get a hit all by himself. Then again, I’d take that over his excessive yelling of “Bernie” twenty-times straight as loud as he can in my left ear. I’m pretty sure I am going to have a nightmare tonight involving Bernie Williams or Burnie from Rooster Teeth (The fine makers of Red vs. Blue products). I guess this guy was just plain annoying the piss out of me. I’ll have to watch out for him, although to be honest, I may have helped him raz Vernon Wells from time-to-time now that I think about it. I mentioned this last time, but then, the whole section gets it going because we know he likes to get into it with the fans, so there’s actually a give-and-take there.

As for you wave-starters, you know who you are. Stupid boys, girls and fat mullets — all three of which have had too much to drink — lose focus or attention and forget that there is a baseball game going on in the vicinity and decide to amuse themselves by instead trying to start the wave (no capitalization thank you). Wouldn’t you know that the little wife with the other haters thought we were bad fans for not partaking in the wave. Shame on us for trying to watch a game. In fact, some morons tried to start one has Schill had a guy down 0-2 in the top of the 8th with 2 outs. Way to be aware of your surroundings dude.

Next, I may have also caused the small Foulke blowup. Joe commented that they should bring in Riske since he was back from the DL when I noted that Foulke was warming up. I told him that would get Papelbon a save situation pretty quickly, but heck, he’s got 7 runs to play with before we worry about being only one up. I joked they need to bring in Seanez for that because he’s real good. Nope, no Riske Business necessary as Foulke did a bang up job in making everyone jumpy. Good thing Torre threw in the towel by pinch hitting for the lefty hitting Damon and Giambi or it might have been even more interesting when A-Fraud hit his usual meaningless homer in garbage time. Anyway, sorry about that.

Oh, and that Manny bomb to straight-away center landed exactly 4 rows in front of Joe and I. I have Manny on my fantasy team and it so happens I am playing Ed this week who has Wang. Hmm… I think Ed was probably yelling things about Wang at that moment too, but nothing like the above I am sure. Ed probably also hoped for Pap to come in for that save since he has him. It would have been a highlight for his pitching staff.

Finally, we were treated to a couple new tunes I hadn’t heard over the Fenway sound system before. Well, I actually probably have, but blocked them out, but I am making a point of trying to track this stuff this year. Yes, you can add “Smooth Operator” by Sade and “Unbelievable” by EMF to the mix. I can’t make this stuff up folks.

All-in-all, it was a pretty tame night for a Yankee game. I think all the hard-core Yankee fans sold their tickets because their team isn’t looking real good right now. It prolly also helped that it wasn’t a weekend game where all the fine citizens from the 5 burroughs can’t road trip.

I can’t wait to see what happens in the Grandstands on Wednesday night. You don’t suppose people will yell things out about Randy Johnson, do you? Good thing he is white…